The Dogwood Tree and the Wisdom of Boundaries- When Love Needs Care Too
- karenjuly1965
- 2 days ago
- 6 min read
Painting a Picture:
Just as roots need good soil, water, protection, and care to remain healthy and grow strong, our hearts also need the truth of God’s Word, the guidance of His Spirit, and the covering of His love.
Sometimes God tends to the soil of our hearts gently and intentionally — strengthening weak places, protecting exposed roots, and teaching us how to grow in truth, wisdom, peace, and love.
There is something beautiful about a young dogwood tree.
It can be alive, growing, blooming, and deeply valuable —
yet still show signs that it needs attention, support, rest, watering, or protection around the roots.
Recently, while checking on a young dogwood tree, I noticed some drooping and small shoots coming up near the root area. The tree was alive and growing, but it also showed signs that it needed intentional care because shallow roots can become stressed more easily by heat, dryness, overexposure, or imbalance.
Sometimes People Are Like That Too
And honestly, I realized something:
sometimes people are like that too.
Especially those who love deeply.
Especially those who serve often.
Especially those who continually pour into others.
We can continue giving and giving until our souls begin quietly drooping beneath the weight of constant availability.
Not dead.
Not bitter.
Not faithless.
Just needing care.
Needing wisdom.
Needing healthy boundaries.
Boundaries Are Not the Absence of Love
The Bible teaches us to love one another, bear burdens, forgive, serve, and walk in kindness. But Scripture also teaches stewardship, wisdom, rest, and abiding in Christ.
Even Jesus withdrew to pray.
Even Jesus rested.
Even Jesus did not meet every demand placed upon Him by people.
That matters.
Sometimes, people who love deeply begin to confuse boundaries with selfishness.
But biblical boundaries are not walls built to keep love out —
they are wisdom that protects what God has entrusted to us.
A tree without healthy roots cannot continue flourishing.
And a believer without healthy spiritual and emotional stewardship can slowly become exhausted while still trying to appear fruitful.
Pay Attention to the Roots
Galatians 6 teaches both truths together:
we are called to bear one another’s burdens,
yet also to carry our own responsibilities before God.
That means love should flow from willingness,
not silent resentment.
Recently, I found myself realizing that I wanted to spend joyful time with my grandchildren without becoming consumed in the process. I wanted to love freely without overextending myself into exhaustion.
And I realized:
clarity is kindness.
Instead of silently carrying frustration, God helped me communicate honestly and peacefully about what I was able to give that day.
Not harshly.
Not defensively.
Not selfishly.
Just truthfully.
And peace followed truth.
And it was such a good day — the kind of best day when love just flows freely.
Because we tended to our roots.
We tend to the roots of our heart.
Just like a dogwood tree may need:
proper watering,
room around the roots,
balanced sunlight,
mulch for protection,
and intentional care,
our hearts need healthy spiritual care too.
Sometimes the drooping is not failure.
Sometimes it is simply a sign:
“Pay attention to the roots.”
Walking the Narrow Way in Truth and Love
Jesus said:
“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”
— Matthew 11:28
Boundaries rooted in love are not rejection.
They are often part of how God teaches us to remain healthy enough
to continue loving well.
And maybe that is part of walking the narrow way too:
learning to love others deeply
while also abiding honestly and peacefully in the care of Christ.
The Power of Honest Communication Before God
I really believe that Christians are meant to communicate well.
Because if we keep silent, we will never be heard or understood.
I have never met a conversation that where two people come before God with honest hearts and love, and rest doesn't follow. Whatever friction was placing strain on a healthy relationship often begins to vanish when love is restored and made new.
Love is made new every time we confess our hearts to God and ask God for His.
I hope this is a blessing to you.
Next, I hope to share a testimony of one such conversation— a moment where ten minutes of honestly from the heart, asking God to help us speak and help us hear one another, helped restore our marriage.
It was a beautiful moment in which we, like many marriages, found ourselves asking whether we were meant to continue together.
What began as uncertainty ended in restoration.
We sat on the front porch and took turns praying, asking the Holy Spirit to filter our words as they come out of our mouths and to filter each other's ears as one another's thoughts and feelings were spoken honestly.
Our thoughts enter one another's ears through our words.
That is why we must pray before we simply let emotions speak.
The human heart, apart from the transforming work of God, can easily become wounded, reactive, defensive, and self-seeking. That is why we need the Holy Spirit to help us speak with truth, humility, wisdom, and love.
When we invite God into our conversations, He helps filter not only what comes out of our mouths, but also how our hearts receive what is being said.
When a heart is being touched by the hand of God, everything changes.
Truth spoken through love has the power to heal, restore, and bring understanding where confusion and hurt once tried to grow.
When Truth Restores Relationships
The only rule was this:
even if something hurt, or we did not personally see it the same way, we still had to believe that to the person speaking it was real.
There, I just shared that testimony:
Honestly, I did not plan on sharing it. But by faith, it flowed out as the Lord brought it back to my remembrance, and maybe someone needs encouragement in this truth today.
Nothing is simple until understanding comes.
We simply told each other how we really felt down deep inside. We took equal turns under the same rule: to be raw, honest, prayerful, and willing to truly hear one another.
And at the end of that ten-minute conversation, we both looked at each other and said:
“Is that all?”
What once felt so large suddenly lost its power once truth, humility, prayer, and understanding entered the room.
Sometimes healing begins the moment we stop protecting ourselves long enough to honestly love one another through the truth.
Truth Is a Beautiful Thing
Sometimes the things that seem so large lose their power once truth finally enters the room.
That is one reason I often say:
truth is a beautiful thing.
You know what they say about “A-S-S-U-M-E.”
I hope you are encouraged in what Jesus teaches us about truth in relationships and how beautiful truth can be.
Truth is part of the power of who God is in us.
And there is a freedom in truth that no divorce can fix.
Restoration restores.
And to me, this is another beautiful thing to learn about who Jesus is.
Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.
Glory Hallelujah!
Continue Growing in Peace and Truth
📍 Video Teaching: Peace Through the Word of God
A foundational video teaching filled with Scripture from multiple books of the Bible, focused on peace, surrender, truth, and learning to abide in Christ through real-life seasons.
With love in Christ,
Karen
Hope in Today Ministries
“Order my steps in thy word…” — Psalm 119:133
Continue Exploring
🔗 Return to: Walking With Jesus — One Step at a Time
🔗 Read: Why These Teachings Exist
Devotional Series: Walking With Jesus
🔗 Read: Justified by Faith (Romans 3–5)
Theme: Identity and Peace with God
🔗 Read: The Framework of Faith
Theme: Learning to walk daily with God when life still feels unfinished
Theme: Living outwardly in love, perseverance, and purpose
🔗 Coming Next:
Truth Restores — When Honest Conversation Heals the Heart
🔗 Explore More in: Foundations of Faith
Hope in Today Ministries
Jesus is never too busy to listen to me... and the same Jesus who meets me there is willing to meet you there too... I have received Him in my heart as both Savior and Lord.
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